If you want the juicy, delicious benefits of journaling, you gotta do this.
It’s simple, but it sure isn’t easy.

A quick search for “tips for journaling” or “how to start journaling” will bring about tons of resources and great information: be consistent, start slow, use prompts, create a beautiful journal space, etc. In our article — How to Get the Most Out of Your Journaling Sessions — we include all of these and stand behind them 100%. But there is one tip that we offer in that post that we don’t see in most of the other articles. One piece of advice that we think is absolutely critical if you want to use journaling as a transformative practice and soak up all of the truly incredible life-changing benefits it can potentially offer:

You have to be honest with yourself.

Before I go into why I believe this is the most important criterion for effective journaling, I understand that there are different types and styles of journaling: making lists, jotting quick notes, or recalling the events of the day — those styles are not quite relevant to this discussion (although those types do yield great benefits). But for those of us who use journaling as a way to process, heal, reframe, release, change neurological pathways, get curious, open our minds, forgive, etc. — who engage in more explorative, reflective, contemplative, and other deeper forms of journaling — we simply cannot access the true benefits without being honest and vulnerable.

Why Honesty Matters

Honesty and vulnerability are the precursors to authenticity, connection, and growth:

If we are to live authentic lives — where we are who we say we are and we are aligned with what feels true — we must first be honest about our beliefs, needs, and dreams.

If we are to be truly connected to others — where we feel seen, understood, and like we belong — we must first be vulnerable about needs, struggles, and fears.

If we are to continually grow, heal, and evolve — where we are willing to confront the tough stuff and ask for feedback and be willing to sit in discomfort — we must first be honest about our past, our triggers and traumas, and our shortcomings.

We simply cannot live an authentic, connected, and evolved life full of alignment, purpose, and contentment if we are being dishonest, dismissive about our emotions or challenges, or unwilling to explore deeper thoughts and struggles.

Why Honesty is So Challenging to Embrace

It seems so simple - just tell the truth! But for those of us who are newer to self-awareness work, it can be incredibly difficult to know if you are being honest with yourself at the beginning. We are quite skilled at lying to ourselves or — at the very least — reframing or sugarcoating hard situations and feelings to avoid difficult feelings.

Let’s use an example to make this more concrete.

Sally got a Bachelor’s degree in nursing — for which she is still paying off her student debt. She has been working in a pediatric oncology unit for the past year. She worked extremely hard in school and moved herself and her fiance across the state to work at her dream hospital. She likes her coworkers and the pay is sufficient for her lifestyle. But for the past several months, something feels off. Every shift, as she is walking to the hospital, she gets a sense of dread that feels like a hard, heavy pit inside her stomach. When she’s at work, she keeps herself busy enough and does enjoy it so she leaves feeling okay, but she’s never really excited to come back for the next shift. The weight of what is on the line for these children is almost crushing it feels so heavy at times. She often feels like a fraud, like she could mess up critically at any moment, and that is exhausting. She loves the idea of nursing in theory, but in practice, she doesn’t feel the passion and excitement she thought she would.

Sally is struggling. She sits down to write in her journal to try to process her thoughts:

If Sally is trying to be rational, this is what she writes:

“Nearly every woman in my family — my mom, aunts, cousins — work in the medical field in some capacity, so it was never much of a thought if I would or not. I get to help people (children!), I make a great living, the schedule is nice, and my coworkers are friendly. I uprooted my (and my fiance’s) life to move here. I am still paying off my education and will be for a while. I’ve only been here a year - I worked so hard to get here and everyone knows it’s my dream job. I should just stick it out, I’m probably just having some imposter syndrome and need to build more self-confidence, which I’m sure will come with experience.”

If Sally is honest, this is what she writes:

“I’m scared to even write this (and not ready yet to say it to anyone out loud), but I don’t think I should’ve gone into nursing. Something inside me - something deep in my gut - tells me that this was not the right decision. I let so many external factors influence me to pursue this career. When I try to convince myself that I love my job and want to do it forever, I feel this strong resistance — like a deep part of me yelling “NO.” But when I think about leaving, something opens and releases and frees inside me. I’m not sure what to do with all of that yet and it would complicate my life a lot to quit nursing, but I just know that what I’m doing now is not it for me.”

Once she is honest with herself, Sally is then able to take the appropriate next step to help her sort out her thoughts and feelings and then move on her most authentic path. That might be more journaling, maybe a conversation with a therapist, maybe a talk with her fiance or a trusted friend. But if Sally can’t be honest with herself, how can she be honest with someone else who could help her feel less stuck?

The Beautiful Gifts of Journaling

The magical thing about journaling is that it offers us the time, space, and connection to ourselves to get in touch with the honesty gauge that is deep within all of us — some refer to it as intuition, inner Knowing, inner compass, etc. — without the pressure of what others think or fear of how others might perceive us and our decisions. The truth is that our honesty gauge is completely individual and comes from within. Every person in the world may think Sally is the perfect pediatric oncology nurse, but if she doesn’t feel aligned and vitalized and in her Truth, then it’s not the perfect fit.

Your’re the only one who knows what your Truth is. No external person, influencer, expert, or source can tell you what is Truth for you. You must give yourself the time, space, and open-mindedness to process what your Truth is — journaling offers you that.

One of the greatest things about journaling: no one ever, ever has to ever read your entries! There is absolutely no reason to not be honest. Be as raw, vulnerable, and honest as possible, and then go and decide what you are willing to share with someone else. When else do we have the safe space to be completely transparent without risking some kind of consequence? For the sake of self-discovery, growth, and healing — even when it feels icky and hard and scary to put a thought or feeling in writing — we cannot know ourselves, develop self-compassion, or change our beliefs without being fully real. If it feels icky, hard, or scary to write — that thought or feeling is usually worth exploring.

What Comes After Honesty

From personal experience, what comes after honesty is usually liberation, empowerment, and clarity. Sally’s story is not unlike my own. I was terrified to tell another soul that I was feeling like I had chosen the wrong profession. The first person I said it out loud to was a therapist. Which brings me to my next point:

It can be extremely helpful to process what comes up with a professional or a strong support person. Not only is it liberating to say honest thoughts to another person, but it helps deflate the bigness and scariness of it all. It also helps propel us into taking the next right steps. People who love and support us want us to be happy and vibrant and in love with our lives, not stuck and struggling and afraid to be our real selves. It’s okay to lean on someone else as we get clearer on our true path.

For Sally, maybe the most real and beautiful version of her life is to stay and work on her confidence and comfort with nursing. Or maybe it is to explore other potential areas of interest and passions and see where those might lead her in the future. Or maybe it is to quit, work somewhere else to relieve herself of the stress and pressure, and continue on the self-discovery journal for her next right thing. No one knows what is right for Sally except for Sally. And the same is true for you and for me.

I know…Oof.

Here at Thirty Days Journals, we pride ourselves on creating a safe space for gently guiding our beloved customers toward honesty and cultivating Truth. Our journals are unique from any other collection in that they ask hard questions, they ask for honest responses, and they delve deep into tough topics for many, many days in order to gain clarity and find more confidence to be fully real. We do this because we know that liberation is on the other side of transparency. Connection is on the other side of vulnerability. Meaning and purpose are on the other side of honesty.

Are you ready to be honest with yourself?
Are you ready to connect with your Truest truths?
Are you ready to deeply connect with others?
Are you ready to live a life full of purpose, passion, and vitality?